One drawback of laughing gas.

So I've had to go to the dentist an awful lot in the last two months. I have always been petrified of the dentist, scarred for life by the ghosts of dentists past. I finally sucked it up and went to a new dentist, who I like very much. Apart from my dentist and his assistant's phenomenal chairside manner, my office visits have improved with the help of laughing gas.

It really calms me down. It is, as my dentist told me, like a couple glasses of wine.

I think they turned it up a little high the other day, because I admitted I was especially nervous. As they left the room to let the gas kick in, I lay listening to the satellite "blend" station was on the speakers. I found myself drifting off to the sound of Jimmy Buffet. Looking for my lost shaker of salt.

WAIT.

I HATE JIMMY BUFFET.

But for that period of time, I was wasted away again in Margaritaville. And it was calming. And yeah, I liked it.

Don't worry - I'm normal now. Even laughing gas can't make a parrothead out of me. Not permanently, anyway.

Antennae don't work in the cellar.

Is there anything more soul-sucking than starting your week at work with only FM TALK to listen to? I'm all about NPR, BBC, whatever - anything but FM Talk.

I complain about our radio at work a lot. We don't get many stations, as we're in the basement. WBOS is okay most of the time because I like some of the music, and even the music I don't like is at least in the right mood for work. Then there's WROR, which I like, mostly because there's a Beatles break at 9 and noon. Oh, and Mambo Time (!) at 5:05. I put up with Toto and "Lady in Red" (hell, I might have even grown to like "Rosanna"). The problem with both those stations is that, with all the music they have in their studios to play around with, they follow a basic schedule throughout the day. So it's like Groundhog Day.*

Another problem we encounter with the few radio stations we get is that there are horrible morning shows, bad enough before you've had your tea, but worse still when replayed in the afternoon. You know, in case you missed it (ahem, WROR and WBCN). Usually my pick is WBCN because nobody ever complains about the music, but it is always changed when Opie and Anthony or whoever are on. Because you know what you don't want to hear when you're shopping for insignia apparel for your kid that you're finally shipping out of your house? Overgrown adolescents. Yelling.

So I'm not sure why we're listening to FM Talk, because it's basically a barrage of half-witted polemics with cutting Boston accents. As if re-entry after a long weekend weren't difficult enough, as if my brain weren't already applesauce, as if I wanted to be here in the first place...

You see where this is going. I'm not much better.


*I like to say a prayer and drink to world peace.